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“Kids, sometimes in life: the planets align, everything links up, and your timing is perfect… 

This wasn’t one of those times.” – Ted Mosby, How I Met Your Mother (S04e14)

My week has been relaxing, as planned. Sometimes I need to get bored- watching YouTube and Netflix for a prolonged periods of time does that for me; it’s like the ‘turning off’ part of a systems reboot but turning off my brain for a couple of hours. Although I have some documents I need to read (HR, Tax and other super adult things) in preparation for next Monday, it’s been pretty stress free. Stress free until I received some news through the mail.

I have the date for my pre-op. It’s soon. 

When the news hit, I was very conflicted. On the one hand, it’s the beginning of the real road to recovery, it’s what I’ve been waiting for and the sooner it’s over, the sooner I can play again. Yet, on the other hand, it’s just two and a half weeks into my new job and if the surgery goes ahead more or less straight after the pre-op, it’s not going to look good for me for a new company I have to impress. I understand that I’ll probably not have many responsibilities by then and that my boss is human at the end of the day and will probably understand, but none-the-less it’s still annoying that it has to happen this way. The planets have not aligned. 

I saw an advert for a ‘Couch to 5K’ app that is suppose to encourage people to get up and get active. My response to the ad was just- ‘Nah, I’m injured’. The excuse came out before I’d even thought about it. I’ve almost been so used to using that excuse that it’s now become second nature; subconscious. It’s an easy thing to do. I realised how I’ve been neglecting my physical fitness. I’m no longer in my prime condition, nor an “athlete”, nor anything close. I am injured and unmotivated, but it doesn’t mean that I’m finished and it definitely doesn’t mean that I need an excuse lined up. I’m gonna try and use this as motivation- I hope it’s what I need.